Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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