Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
