I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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