i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
