my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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