I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
