so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
