Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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