Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
