see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
