I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
