Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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