ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is it penis luge time yet?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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