I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
