so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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