considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
