then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
