I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
