it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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