Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
