I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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