Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
