Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
