dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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