If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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