I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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