Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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