My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
