i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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