youre lurking in front of me
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
