dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
