oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
