Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
