I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize