Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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