dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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