my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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