I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
