She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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