He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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