I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
