help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
