Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
