Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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