It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
