please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
