At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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