Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This baby is an asshole
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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