plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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