Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize