Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
