Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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