Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
