I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize