i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
