when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
