OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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