I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
