just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize