this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
