i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
