Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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