First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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