Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Im part way to drunk.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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