I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
