her vagine was all disorganized.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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