i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
