god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize