No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
