I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
