Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
