Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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