Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize