I love black thongs
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
